《珍珠项链》第一章 珍珠的孕育 A Pearl Necklace – Chapter One

第一部 珍珠之母

（第一章至第四章）

上个世纪初，美国旧金山，两个中国移民家庭各自走过早期移民的艰苦创业历程。多年后，他们的子女结识、成婚，有了下一代。生活似乎会这么延续下去。但是，一颗珍珠却在痛苦磨砺中，孕育在这默默无闻的贝壳里了……

第一章 珍珠的孕育

我常常感到惊讶，像台山这样一个贫穷的小地方（位于中国南部的广东省），怎能在美国东、西海岸的“唐人街”繁衍出如此众多的人口。这些村民作为劳工来到美国，屈身负重，被称为“Coolies”（ “苦力”的音译）。他们辛勤地劳作、隐忍地活着，一切只为了实现心中的梦想——发财和开创新的生活。然而，在难以预料的、残酷的现实和屈辱面前，他们的梦想之旅常遭挫折，多受搅扰。

他们从未受过教育，也缺乏技能培训，但凭着一股子吃苦耐劳和勤俭节约的精神，他们也能够有些积蓄。除了定期给远在大洋彼岸的家人寄钱回去贴补家用之外，他们把余款全部存起来，期待着有一天能当上老板，拥有一个属于自己的小生意。俗话说：“工字不出头。”他们宁愿自己当微利经营的小老板，也不愿做看上去光鲜的打工仔。这是他们当初来到“金山”的原因。为了自己和家人能过上更好的生活，他们漂洋过海，辗转来到这个陌生的国度。在中国，他们的命运被困在土地上，靠天吃饭；而在这里，他们的才能和努力得到了比原来丰富得多的回报。因此，他们像蜘蛛结网一样小心翼翼地扩大生存的范围，不断地超越自我，逐渐闯出了一片天地。

珍珠之母

美国大萧条的末期。六岁的阿英随母亲一起坐头等舱到旧金山与父亲会合，父亲已经在那里奋斗了好几年。在船上，一对非常富有但没有孩子的老年夫妇喜欢上了阿英，想收她为养女，还主动要求承担她未来的一切教育费用。然而，阿英的妈妈小心谨慎，也许是出于害怕，拒绝了他们的好意。她担心这些外国人表面热心肠，背后隐藏着不可告人的目的。

阿英的父亲在一家罐头厂附近经营小赌场，那些通过移民来到美国的工人常常聚在那里，期待着在赌场里找到一丝自我的尊严，也盼望着转换一下运气。虽然当时正处在大萧条期间 ，阿英的妈妈还是很幸运地在旧金山唐人街的一家裁缝铺里找到了工作。她获准把一些缝纫的活带到家里做，不必每天到那拥挤不堪的店铺里缝补。阿英是个乖巧的女孩，她学会帮妈妈缝衣服，而且活做得又快又细。从13岁开始，她就动手缝补自己所有的衣服。

上初中时，阿英为了获得一份免费午餐，应聘到咖啡厅当收银员，她的弟弟和她一起享用这份免费的午餐。她在学校里人缘很好，同学们一致推选她进入学生会，希望她成为第一个担任学生会财务主管的中国学生（在此之前，从来没有中国学生进入学生会）。朋友们为了她的当选都非常努力，他们做成一个漂亮的巨型条幅，上面画着一条红色和金色交相辉映的龙。他们不知疲倦地散发传单，大规模地在校园里宣传，浩大的声势真是前所未有。

“大声点，你必须再大声点！”她的朋友朝她大叫，教她怎样进行大选演讲，他们让她站在自家的屋顶上演练。她后来得到了一位同学家长的指导，那位家长曾经担任过台湾总领事。

除了白天上课之外，她晚上还要进入中文学校学习，她在那里同样是佼佼者，而且，她正是在中文学校学会演讲的。她首轮竞选获得了第9名，男孩们对着她学狗叫，因为“九”和“狗”在广东话里听起来很相似。屡遭羞辱之后，她决定更加勤奋地进行训练，直到熟练地掌握各种技巧为止。当阿英最终竞选成功时，大家都觉得，她的胜利是整个华人团体的胜利。

在高中阶段，她还在晚上担任一家中文电影院的放映员，这样能挣更多的零用钱，她把这些钱分给她的兄弟们。从那时起，她就再没有向父母要过一分钱。虽然她天资聪颖，学业突出，但她知道自己不会上大学，因为女孩接受太多教育并不符合传统观念。正如孔子说的：“女子无才便是德”，女儿终归是要嫁人的，家人认为任何在她身上的投资都是浪费，她也明白家里宝贵的资源是属于兄弟们的。

然而，她从未因此心生埋怨，她知道自己在家里的位置，甚至认为自己能活着就很感恩了。她出生时，接生婆看到又是一个女孩儿，便离她母亲而去，并建议她把孩子扔掉。但是当妈妈注视着女儿那对明亮的大眼睛时，无论如何也不忍心那样做。妈妈颤抖着双手，用一把开水消过毒的小绣花剪刀剪断脐带。所以她长大后，一直觉得自己不配生活在这个世界上。

进取心

与此同时，在美国另一端的一个偏僻的沙漠小镇里，阿敬家族共同经营着一个杂货店。每个家族成员都在这里工作，以这个小杂货店为生。那里大部分男人的妻儿老小仍在中国，眼巴巴地等着他们寄钱回家。虽然阿敬的父亲热切盼望与儿子在美重逢，但又担心一旦阿敬回到自己身边，便会被困在小商贩的生活中而不能继续学业，这样会毁了他的大好前程。因此，他安排阿敬直接从中国到纽约，与他的叔叔生活在一起，希望阿敬能步他叔叔的后尘当一名医生。他节省每一分钱，就是为了圆他儿子的教育梦。

阿敬在来到美国的三年里，一直在纽约的唐人街上学。当父亲突然让他搬到加州时，他在纽约的学业便戛然而止了。他来到加州后不久，父亲就死于阑尾炎，年少的阿敬从此过上了无依无靠的生活。贪婪的族人巴望着他把父亲的遗体运回中国后，再也不要回来。但他还是回到美国，与族人一起在杂货店工作，直到第二次世界大战爆发。他非常想加入美国军队，但因为扁平足，不符合入伍标准，这使他大失所望。

阿敬兑现了父亲在杂货店的股份，带着父亲留下的微薄积蓄，离开族人独自谋生。当时，美国人担心本土的日本人会帮助日本作战，就把他们关进集中营。这些日本人在绝望中只有低价出租他们的农场，让别人帮他们经营，等战争结束后再回收。阿敬拿出他微薄的积蓄，甚至典当了父亲留给他的金表，租下了几片地。他只为自己留了一辆车，便于在农场上跑来跑去，照看生意。这就是他生机勃勃的中国水果蔬菜生意的开端，从那以后，他成为美国西海岸到芝加哥和纽约的中国食品独家供应商，生意一直持续到战后。

阿敬经常去旧金山的船上检查货物。一次旅途中，他听一个生意伙伴向自己的外甥谈起他最好朋友的女儿。那人讲的时候，阿敬屏声静气地听着。听上去，这个名叫阿英的女孩性格温柔，成绩优秀，相貌出众而且心地纯洁，因此得到众人的青睐。后来，阿敬悄悄地观察了阿英几次，就打算正式认识她。他精心布局，要打败其他的追求者，在这场角逐中胜出。

有一个追求者向阿英求婚了，他拿出父亲的一封信给她看，在信中，他的父亲详述了他们在香港拥有的资产，而且还让儿子立即带一个新娘回家。虽然他的追求很执著，但阿英似乎嫌他太矮，对他有些不上心。一天傍晚，当他来接阿英时，阿敬也不请自来。为了快点摆脱阿敬，这个追求者说：“对不起，我们现在要去一家夜总会了。”

“是吗，我还从未去过旧金山的夜总会呢。我们一起去吧！”阿敬的回答着实让两个人大吃一惊，却也无可奈何。

在夜总会，两个年轻人各站在阿英的一侧，争相引起她的注意。当阿敬看到他的竞争对手抓住阿英的手时，便迅速抓起她的另一只手。不管她的感觉如何，两个男人都固执地、紧紧地抓住她的手。当他们把她像人质一样夹在中间坐下来观看表演时，阿英颇觉尴尬。

从那时起，阿敬开始加大追求攻势，并且逐渐占了上风。约会的时候，他常常给她惊喜。一次，阿英发现他的英文词汇量很大，忍不住问道，“你是从哪个大学毕业的？”当听说他只在美国受了三年教育时，她简直难以相信。“我自己在字典里学的。”他说。她以为自己又被捉弄了，直到很久以后亲眼见到那本被翻烂的字典时，才不得不心悦诚服。当他们沿着唐人街散步时，阿英不明白为什么街上所有的小贩都认识阿敬。有一次，阿敬用手指着一堆苹果说，“这是我种的，所有这些都是我种的。”当他告诉她自己的农场生意时，她惊讶得说不出话来。阿英渐渐发现，与阿敬相比，所有其他的追求者看上去都只是孩子，而且父亲也只允许她和阿敬交往。

一天，阿敬递给她一个信封。她略带羞涩地接过去问：“这是什么？”他请她打开看看，原来里面是一张2000美元的支票，这在1946年是一笔大数目。
“是卖鸡蛋得来的。”他说着，眼里闪烁着光芒。

“一定是很多鸡蛋了！”她对他说。

“大约一卡车。确切地说，是一火车车厢。”当她从震惊中回过神来时，他又说：“我同时也从Stocks赚钱。”(这个英文词汇兼有“牲畜”和“股票”的意思)
“你的意思是，你养奶牛？”她问道，她总感觉自己有些傻，很多事情都不懂。

“不，我玩股票。你见过股市吗？我现在可以带你去看，然后我们去买订婚戒指，就用这张支票。”阿英感觉自己置身于一个美丽的梦中，生活还能比这更美好吗？

订婚以后，阿敬担心自己过去深藏的秘密会暴露，这样他就会失去自己想要的女人。他本能地认为，如果占有了她就万无一失了，于是就和她发生性关系。“我必须确定你会嫁给我。”他解释道，可他从未想到这样做只会给他们的关系蒙上羞耻和猜疑的阴影。此外，这个举动也造成了进一步的复杂局面—— 一个小生命已经悄悄在阿英体内孕育。

阿英发现自己怀孕后，开始对阿敬产生憎恨，阿敬也努力地想弥补他的过错。“我可以帮你打掉这个孩子。”他主动提出。 “我不能再犯一次错误杀掉这个无辜的孩子。”她说。此时此刻，她仿佛看到自己的生活和梦想被眼前这个自私的男人打得粉碎。

婚礼后的第三天，当他们按照传统礼节回到阿英娘家拜访时，家族的长辈聚集在一起，气氛严肃得简直像有人去世一样——原来，他们得知阿敬在中国已经有一个老婆，还有个儿子。受到这个打击，阿英顿时呆若木鸡、四肢僵硬。

阿敬跪下来，泪流满面，发誓说他是被迫结婚的，只有这样母亲才允许他回到美国。当他把父亲的遗体运回中国时，母亲把他的护照和钱藏起来，一直等到他被迫结婚并让妻子怀孕后才给他。因为自己的丈夫已经客死他乡，这位母亲不想让唯一的儿子再一次远走高飞、一去不回头，毕竟他是家里唯一的支柱。
“请原谅我。我发誓，我不承认这个女人是我的妻子，也不承认这个孩子是我儿子。母亲想用这样的方式毁掉我们的一生，我要和她断绝母子关系。”

阿英知道，如果阿敬这样做，他的母亲会自杀。她自己的父母异常愤怒，她的兄弟甚至要杀死他。这时，阿英第一次开口了：“不要伤害他，我已经怀了他的孩子。”这消息就如同有人抓住刚捅进家人心口的那把刀的刀把，又狠狠地拧了几圈，他们满腔悲愤，无从发泄。这对年轻夫妇当时唯一能做的，就是离开这个伤心之地，努力从头开始。最后，他们只能先搬回到阿敬曾经住过的那个小镇，与他那些靠不住的族人生活在一起。

遥望旧金山，那熟悉的唐人街，想起她的家人和朋友，阿英欲哭无泪。她孤独地在这小镇上，与新婚丈夫和他的族人一起，开始了人生中新的一页——在这个尘土飞扬，前不着村后不着店的偏僻小镇里过着隐姓埋名的生活。

一天晚上，她做了一个梦，梦境极为真实。一位年老的圣人朝她走过来，对她说：“我有一个特别的礼物要送给你。”她好奇不已，不由自主地朝他走去，伸手接受他的礼物。当圣人把礼物放在她的手中时，她能感觉到它的重量。当她打开手掌，一颗巨大的、瑰丽的、耀眼夺目的珍珠呈现在她的面前。正当她紧紧抓住这颗珍珠时，第一次剧烈的阵痛袭来，打破了她的梦境，没过多久，我就来到了这个世界。

 

Unlike hard gems mined from the bowels of the earth, a pearl is a delicate creation formed in the depths of the sea in the secret home of the oyster.  What begins as an irritation lodged in the oyster’s soft tissue, as a piece of foreign stone or a parasite, is slowly covered over by the oyster’s internal struggle to seal off this intruder.  Because it cannot expel it, the oyster expresses a thick white milk that envelopes this unwelcome guest, over and over again, coating it with so many layers, that there is no longer any trace of its earthly origins.  And there at the bottom of the seabed, it transforms in secluded anonymity, hidden away inside the oyster’s tightly clasped shell until it is forcibly pried open to reveal in the light of the sun an iridescent, radiant, solid drop of moonbeam.   This pearl is admired and prized for its unmatched beauty long after the oyster that produced it has ceased to exist.

Chapter One: “Seeding a Pearl”

 

I am always amazed at how such an impoverished tiny village like TaiShan, in the southernprovinceofGuangzhou,Chinacould populate theChinatownson both coasts of theU.S.  These villagers arrived as laborers, and through their backbreaking work became known as “coolies” (“ku li” or “bitter labor”).  Through their diligence and ability to withstand hardship, they lived lives of sacrifice and self-deprivation for a dream – to find fortune and a new life in theGoldenMountain.  But the fitful dream was plagued with unexpected, brutal realities, troubles, and shame that they would endure and swallow.

They were uneducated and unskilled, but were also hard working and frugal, saving enough to send money back home regularly.  Anything extra was put away for the hope that someday they would work for themselves, owning their own little businesses.  As the saying goes, “Better a meager lifestyle working for oneself than a grandiose one working for another.”  This is why they came to theGoldenMountainin the first place, to make a better life for themselves and their families.  Back inChinathey were limited by the soil and rains; inAmericathey would be limited only by their own abilities and efforts.   So they came across the waters, like spider webbings that stretch precariously beyond themselves to these unknown shores.

 

 

Mother of Pearl

 

It is the end of the Great Depression.  Six-year-old Ah Yin comes with her mother by ship in first class to San Francisco to join her father who has already been there working for several years.  On the boat, a very wealthy elderly, childless couple take a liking to her and want to become her godparents, offering to pay for her entire future education.  But her mother is wary and afraid, so she declines, suspicious that these foreigners may have other bad intentions.

Ah Yin’s father runs a small gambling establishment near a cannery where other immigrant workers gather to reclaim a bit of self dignity and a change of luck.  But when the Great Depression hits, her mother is grateful to find work by bringing sewing home instead of having to go to the cramped sweatshops ofSan Francisco’sChinatown.  As a girl, Ah Yin learns to help out by sewing fast and accurately, and begins to sew all of her own clothes from the age of thirteen.

In junior high school she works as the cafeteria cashier in exchange for a free lunch, which she shares with her younger brother.  She is well loved and though Chinese students never participate in student government, there is a movement among them to vote her into student office as the first Chinese Student Body Treasurer.  She is amazed at how hard her friends work to make a huge beautiful banner with a red and gold dragon on it for her election.  They diligently pass out flyers and blitz the school with an unprecedented campaign.

“Louder, you have to speak louder,” shouts her friend coaching her for her campaign speech, making her practice outside on her rooftop.  She is even coached by a parent who was the ex-General Consul ofTaiwan. When she wins, it is a win for the whole Chinese community.

Like her other friends she attends Chinese school after a full day of American school and excels there as well.  In fact it is at Chinese school that she learns to make speeches.  After coming in ninth in her first competition, the boys would bark at her because the words for “nine” and “dog” sound similar in Cantonese.  Mortified by this incessant ridicule, she is determined to do better and practices without ceasing until she masters it.

As a high school student, she works as a projectionist at a Chinese movie house in the evenings to bring in extra money that she shares with her brother.  From then on, she never asks for money from her parents. Though she is bright and excels in her studies, she knows she will never go to college because education for girls is frowned upon.  Confucius taught, “A virtuous woman is an uneducated woman.” Since a daughter is expected to marry into her husband’s family, any investment in her is considered a waste.  She knows that the family’s precious resources are reserved only for her brothers.

Yet, she never begrudges them because she knows her place and is grateful even to be alive.  When she was born, the midwife abandoned her mother when she saw that it is yet another daughter, instructing the mother to let the baby girl die on the ash heap.  But when her mother looked into Ah Yin’s big bright eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.  With a shaky hand, she severed the umbilical cord with small embroidery scissors that she sterilized with boiling water and tied the belly button herself.  Ah Yin grew up always feeling undeserving.

 

Dashing Dreams

Meanwhile, in another part of the state, in a desolate desert town, the small Lim clan build a grocery business.  Everyone works and lives off a small grocery store.  Most of the men’s families are still back inChinawho count on them to remit money back to them.  Though Jing’s father would love dearly to see his son again, he is afraid that if Jing comes directly to him, Jing would be stuck living a merchant’s life instead of pursuing an education that would pave new roads for him.  Therefore, he arranges for Jing to travel directly fromChinatoNew Yorkto stay with his uncle, hoping that Jing would follow this uncle’s footsteps into medicine.  He frugally saves his money for this dream of an education for his son.

Jing spends the next three years attending school inNew York’sChinatown.  This soon comes to an abrupt halt when Jing’s father suddenly sends for him to come toCalifornia.  Soon after he arrives, his father dies of a ruptured appendix. Being only a young teenager, Jing is left at the mercy of his greedy clansmen who hope that after he takes his father’s body back toChina, he will never return toAmerica.  But he does return and works at the grocery store with his clansmen until World War II breaks out.  He tries to join theU.S.army, but is disappointed when he is told that his flat feet disqualify him.

Jing then takes his father’s share of the grocery store and the small savings that his father left him, and leaves his clansmen to try to make a way for himself.  During this time, the Japanese are rounded up and placed in internment camps because ofU.S.fears that they might turn to helpJapanin the war.  They desperately try to lease out their farms to people who would manage them until they returned.  Jing takes his small stake and even hocks the gold watch left to him by his father to lease parcels of Japanese farms, keeping only a car that he would need to run the farm businesses.  This is the beginning of a thriving Chinese fruit and vegetable business that would supply food to the Chinese up and down the west coast, and east toChicagoandNew Yorkuntil the war ends.

Jing frequently comes toSan Franciscoto check on his shipments to the markets.  On one trip, he overhears a business partner telling his nephew about his best friend’s daughter.  Jing’s ears perk up when he hears him describe a young woman named Ah Yin, who is renowned for her exceptional sweetness, accomplishments, beauty, and purity.  After he does some of his own investigations, he quickly seeks a formal introduction to her and pits himself against her many other suitors.

One such suitor proposes to her by showing her a letter from his father that enumerates the many properties they own inHong Kongand asks him to quickly bring home a bride.  Though he is very persistent, she is worried he is too short.  One time when he comes to take her out for the evening, Jing also drops by unannounced.  Eager to get rid of Jing, the suitor says, “Well, excuse us, but we are going out to a night club now.”

“Oh, I’ve never been to a night club inSan Franciscobefore.  I will join you!” replies Jing, much to the shock and dismay of the other two.

At the nightclub the two men position themselves on either side of Ah Yin, jockeying for her attention.  When Jing sees his rival grab her hand, he grabs her other hand. Both men stubbornly hold on tightly even though she doesn’t care to hold the hand of either one.  Ah Yin is beet red with embarrassment as she sits watching the show as their hostage.

From then on Jing intensifies his pursuit and becomes the frontrunner.   As they date, she constantly learns surprising things about him.  Impressed with his large English vocabulary, Ah Yin asks him one day, “Which college did you graduate from?”  She doesn’t believe him when he says that he only has three years of education in theU.S.

“I taught myself English by studying the dictionary,” he says.  She thinks he is teasing her again until much later when she sees the tattered book herself. During their strolls down the streets ofChinatown, Ah Yin wonders why all the street merchants come out to chat with him and know him by name.  One time Jing fingers some apples and says, “I grew this, and this one, and this one, and actually, all of these.”  She is speechless when he then tells her of his large farm business.  All of the other suitors seem like mere boys compared to Jing. Of all the young men who come courting her, he is the only one of whom her father approves.

One day Jing hands her an envelope. She shyly takes it and asks, “What is this?”  He invites her to see what is in it.  She sees a check made out to him for $2,000, which is an enormous sum back in 1946.

“It’s from selling eggs,” he says, with a twinkle in his eye.

“It must have been a lot of eggs!” she says to him.

“About a carload…a trainload to be exact.”  When she recovers from the shock of seeing such a large sum of money, he says, “I also make money with stocks.”

“Do you mean, you raise cows?” she asks always feeling a bit silly that she doesn’t understand many things.

“No, I play the stock market.  Have you ever seen the stock market?  I can take you to see it now, and afterwards we can go to Granat Brothers to pick out an engagement ring with this check.”  Ah Yin feels like she is in a beautiful dream.  How could life get any better than this?

After they get engaged, Jing worries about deep secrets from his past that if known could spoil his chances with this woman he must have.  The more he thinks about it, the more worried he gets, and so he devises a way to insure that she will marry him.  Trusting his primitive village instincts, he dishonors her sexually.  “I had to make sure you would marry me,” he explains to her, the thought not even occurring to him of how it would poison their relationship with shame and mistrust. In addition, this act also has further complications – a small life is already budding within Ah Yin.

Realizing how this act backfired, causing Ah Yin to hate him, he tries to back-peddle, “I can help you get rid of the baby,” he offers.  Ah Yin recoils at this thought as her whole world narrows to two impossible options.

“I cannot add to this wrong by killing this innocent baby,” she says as she sees the window of her life shattered by the stone he has selfishly thrown through it.

The third day after the wedding, when they return to her family home for the traditional visit, the elders of the community are gathered and are somber as if someone has died.  They rush in to see what has happened.  News has arrived that Jing already has another wife and a son inChina.  Upon hearing this, Ah Yin feels herself turn to stone.

In tears on his knees, Jing swears that he was forced to marry before his mother would allow him to return toAmerica.  Even though he ran away and hid in a ditch in the fields, they found him and brought him back.  When he brought his father’s body back toChina, his mother hid his passport and money and would not return them to him until he married and impregnated a wife.  Since her own husband never returned alive, she wanted to guarantee that her son, now the sole support of the family, would have deeper roots inChinabefore sending him back toAmericaagain.

“Please forgive me.  I swear, I don’t consider this woman to be my wife or the boy to be my son.  I will disown my mother for forcing me to ruin both our lives in this way.”

Ah Yin knows that if he did, his mother might kill herself.  Her own parents are enraged and her brother is ready to kill him, but Ah Yin speaks for the first time, “Don’t hurt him, I am carrying his child.”  This twists the knife that has just stabbed the bleeding wound of her family. Now the tears mix with rage. The only thing left for them to do is to leave town and try to get a new start. Seeing no other option, the young couple moves back to the small hometown of his dubious clansmen.

A far cry fromSan Francisco, the familiarity ofChinatown, and her family and friends, alone with only her new husband and his clansmen, Ah Yin settles into her new life, welcoming the anonymity of this dusty, desolate town in the middle of nowhere.

One night she has a vivid dream; so vivid that she is sure she is no longer sleeping.  An old saintly sage walks towards her and says, “I have a very special gift for you.”  Extremely curious, she approaches him and extends her hand to receive the gift.  She can feel the weight of it as he places it into her hands.  When she opens her hands, she sees an enormous, beautiful glowing pearl. Just as she clasps her fingers around it tighter, she is suddenly jolted awake by her first sharp pang of labor, that would soon usher in my birth into this world.